We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy.
But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable.
You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real—but you create the context. And the context is everything.
The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
you will make it again,
this time more gracefully.
You will stop chasing ghosts,
stop being negative,
stop giving others
the responsibility to make you happy.
You will know better than to
cover up the emptiness
by setting fire to yourself.
will not be another excuse.
You will feel, you will bleed, and you will
not not not be another’s mistake.
You will learn how to breathe
more gently, say more of “I”
and less of “you”, and when
you feel like a wreck remember -
summer boils in my blood
and it and I alone can
melt the loneliness away.
This year you will survive
survive survive survive,
even if you have to crawl
all your way to the end.
So if you’re stuck inside
the horrors of your own head -
either find the light or
create your own sunshine.
you will fight.
You will be alive.
Don’t over think things. Your first reaction was probably spot on, just go with your gut, follow your instinct, you never know whether things will work out or not. But if you did what you wanted, and it granted you happiness, if only temporarily, wasn’t it worth it?
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.